There is a Southern tradition that is pervasive in my
family: black eyed peas on New Years. Is this a thing in anybody else’s family
or am I the only weird one here? It’s weird because I live in Washington and
most people have never heard of this. To my mother’s bewilderment, we had soup,
and it was delicious.
“No black eyed peas?”
“Nope. Soup”
“Huh. Weird”
I could sense the shame I had brought upon my ancestors in
my mother’s text. Multiple bean eating, superstitious ancestors surely rolled
over in their graves yesterday.
It’s all good though.
What she doesn’t know, is that I sang a Black Eyed Peas song
in my head and I’m pretty sure that counts for something.
via GIPHY
via GIPHY
Besides, I’m pretty sure all the beans in the world isn’t
going to bring enough luck to fix what 2017 will inevitably bring. I’m not a
pessimist, but with the outcome of the last election has in store for us this
year, I’m pretty sure we’re all screwed…beans or no beans.
On a happier note, my mother told me that they had steak and
a rack of lamb to accompany their black eyed peas on New Years and I was
surprised at how…normal it sounded. My mother loves to cook, and she’s good at
it, but when it comes to pairing foods, well…that’s where I get the most
enjoyment from it.
“So, what’d you have for dinner?” I’ll innocently ask on any
given day of the week.
“Tuna casserole, french toast, chex mix, and a can of
spinach.” (It’s extremely important that there is always a veggie).
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I think what has happened here is that there is a strict set
of protocols for meal designing. There has to be a meat, a starch, and a
vegetable. No exceptions.
Sometimes I amuse myself with what a Mom Menu would look
like. I mean, what if she had her own restaurant?
Mom Menu (Prototype)
The “I had a bunch of
leftovers. I couldn’t let them go bad!”
A generous helping of spam casserole with a side of canned
green beans. Served with homemade bread, a piece of cold leftover fried
chicken, and some cheesecake.
The “I closed my
eyes, reached into the freezer, and…”
Four perogies nestled along a side of a day old pizza slice.
Served with frozen peas and cocktail sausages wrapped in suspicious dough.
The “You liked it the
last four nights”
Seven Costco meatballs served with chicken noodle soup,
canned beets, and graham crackers.
The “After Six”
Special
A glass of Earl Grey tea and the forced nightly fasting
The “Oh my gosh it’s
almost five o’clock and I have no idea what we’re having”
Two scrambled eggs, four slices of tomato, a can of Vienna
sausages, and three graham crackers.
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All joking aside, my mom makes the best chicken enchiladas
EVER. They’re huge and full of yummy cheese and chicken and magical spices from
far off lands.
Serve those right on up with a bowl of cheerios and some
frozen corn and we’re all set!
(Ok, maybe not ALL joking aside)
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